I know it's been much to long since I have been on here.  And suddenly I realized today how much I need Xanga.  If not just for today.  The beauty of xanga is that I don't have to censor my...well my anything.  I can just say it.  That is a wonderful thing.  So, I'm just going to unload a few things that are on my mind.

Friggin' 10 year reunion:  We all have them, I know, I know.  Why do I feel anxious about this?  When we all meet everyone is going to be putting on their best show.  What difference does it make.  Yes there are some people who I haven't seen for years that I am actually interested in, but so many that I really am not.  What a terrible attitude, huh?   '94 and '95 reunions were fun, but they weren't mine.  That's a lot easier.

Engagement or lack thereof:  Why oh why does this bother me so?  Maybe because I am a mother of 2?  Maybe I am just tired of the "dating thing."  I don't want to go back there.  Maybe because I am not so sure that my S.O. or whatever, is ever going to convince himself that he's ready.  And what is "ready" anyway?  I mean come on.  B took me out to look at rings on my birthday so I could select a few and I was secretly hoping that this meant a proposal might happen soon.  Now it seems as though this was just a clever way to get me to shut up.  I can't think of a better way to put it.  That was 2 months ago.  He said that he was ready and that he wanted to be with me forever, blah, blah.  So I want to say something, or ask...like whats-up.  Am I jumping the gun?  Reacting to fast?  I don't know, but I am keeping my mouth shut for now.  Though I can say, it probably won't be shut for long, because...I'm a talker...and I will probably consume some alcohol this weekend at one time or another...and then...well, I'll probably say something, just like always....   sheesh.

30 year old men and beer bongs:  I mean seriously.  Don't you think maybe that's a little rediculous?  They seem to think not.  I think they've been watching a little too much Old School.

Family look-alikes:  Spent last night looking through old school photos of myself and was pleasantly surprised to find a picture of me when I was 4 y/o, the same age as my daughter.  It is amazing how much alike we look.  She of course, thought it was a picture of her.  So cute. 

Work-related frustrations:  I recently accepted another position within the same company.  Recently being a month ago.  Due to burn out no less.  Because they post positions in-house we have seen a chain reaction occur.  So I am currenlty waiting for someone to fill a rather large position here, once they find someone...then they start...then they train...then that employee moves to her new position to train, then the next employee comes to me to train....and then I can start my new position...that I accepted in July.  I am hoping to God that I will get out of this position before Christmas.

Ok, I do believe that is enough for now.  I would like to say though...with all of these things on my mind lately I thought it would do me good to take up a hobby that let my mind take a break.  So I am teaching myself to knit.  And though I can't seem to do as the book says half the time...I am truckin along on a scarf...it's about 6x12 inches right now.  :)  It's very methodical and kinda fun.  So I just knit knit knit, and someday...I'll purl.

June is almost over.  I can hardly believe it.  Seems like the summer is just flying by this year.  I'm getting into the swing of golfing.  And it's so much fun.  Maybe cause it's a new thing for me, but I am a little obsessive.  But it's like my little escape from reality.  And I needed that.

And I have decided to leave my job as hospital discharge planner.  Need to get back into "real" nursing again.  It's been so long and I am so out of practice.  But I need to switch back, for my career and my sanity.  :)  I am hoping for something on day shift to open soon.  Everyone cross your fingers for me!!!

Anyway...that's enough for now.  Ta Ta and nice to see ya'll.

A mommy milestone

My children are getting there very first babysitter that isn't a relative.  Almost 8 years and this is the first time I have ever let someone who isn't within our family take care of my children after hours.  Wow.  I have just realized that MY time is important too and I shouldn't feel bad about wanting to be involved in activities for my own personal evolvement and enjoyment etc etc.  So we have a babysitter for Thursday night.  She is coming over to meet the kids tonight.  I am sure they are going to love it, though.  Babysitters are great.  They will play games and dress up and everything will be great. 

Cross my fingers. 

It has been a long time.  Its so hard to speak freely out into the unknown.  You know.  I'm not in the best of moods today and I got a runner in my pantyhose right when I got to work.  Damn.  So this is what is new and totally unrelated to my current mood. 

My daughter had a splinter/thorn in her foot the other day.  I couldn't get the sucker out for nothing.  We had to take her to the dr.  It was traumatic, but it is out now, and getting better.

My son started summer school this week and he loves it.  He is going to the swimming pool daily with the daycare and enjoying that too.  His favorite thing is to take my money and spend it on candy at the concession stand at the swimming pool and the ball field. 

My boyfriend's son, the sports fanatic, broke his thumb on Tuesday because he was, get this, rough housing with the girls and daycare.   So now he can't play ball to finish out the season and he is devastated.  Looks like basketball camp might be out of the picture too, we'll see. 

I have been keeping the kids up late and hanging out with my boyfriend's sister more.  It works out well because the kids fall asleep much faster and we don't have the usual bedtime battles anymore.  But I am getting worn out and stressed.